48 Is…
Last night we went out to eat at a favorite restaurant with my in-laws, my hubby, and kids. Which seems more like an expected kind of birthday. But the one … Continue reading
See You In the New Year
It’s not that I haven’t written. I’ve written a lot. In the last few months I’ve reread and rewritten approximately 250 pages. Then I’ve forward written just under 200 more … Continue reading
Long Time No Write
Long time no write. Actually, it’s not that I haven’t written in a long time, and certainly it’s not that I haven’t thought the thoughts, it’s just that they’re all … Continue reading
I’m Learning to Fly (But I Ain’t Got Wings)
“You know which one was my favorite, don’t you?” I asked my husband as we sat side by side last night catching up on Ray Donovan. We’d paused the episode … Continue reading
The Art of the Lost Hour
We all grow older, grow up, get stinky, lose track of time. We remember, and then we hold tight suddenly, lamenting. There’s nothing to be done about it at all but this, this one hour outside of time, to celebrate, to mourn, to repurpose into something new that we can hang on a wall to remind us of what was.
A Week in Three Parts (You Don’t Stop When the Pom-Pom Drops)
Part I: Fishbone Leaves Last Saturday I was contemplating my role as a woman and a mother. I was deep in thought about who I am, and what I should be … Continue reading
The Morning After the Election, Still I Rise
Last night I stayed up as long as I could watching the television coverage of the election results. And then somewhere close to midnight I finally went upstairs to bed. … Continue reading
The In-Between
I stepped outside today and it was what we call nether weather. It was neither cool nor warm, windy or calm. It felt like there was no temperature, no sun, the … Continue reading
Last Week of School
It is their last week of school. And when I’m not feeling overwhelmed at the thought of a recent birthday just passed, or one looming ahead in two weeks, … Continue reading
My Baby’s First Date
My daughter went on her first date last weekend. They went to the movies. He wore a jacket and a dress shirt. She wore a San Francisco t-shirt from Old … Continue reading
Happy Jazz Handsy Valentine’s Day
My kids were talking about Valentine’s Day in the back row of the minivan. My five-year-old was beyond excited about the day. They had all been told to wear red, … Continue reading
What I Remember, There You Are
It begins like this. My alarm goes off and I get out of bed. My husband is already awake, because he is an early bird. I get out of bed, … Continue reading
Last First Day of School
I began to see my day and the things I would do. Then my week and the things I hoped to accomplish, then my month, and so on. As I told my son, I guess you need new beginnings for sentimental endings and sentimental endings for new beginnings. And now it’s time for the next new beginning.
How You Measure Half a Life
It happened. The kind people at Mamalode published my essay on their August theme Optimism, How You Measure Half a Life. And ironically, it’s a meditation on whether there is … Continue reading
The Tooth Fairy Forgot to Come Last Night
The tooth fairy forgot to come last night. Mica walked into my bedroom this morning, waking me with his sad, sweet little face and shuffling footy pajama’ed feet. He said with the … Continue reading
Who Are You Going to Be When You Grow Up?
I was driving to school to pick up the kids in my minivan. Like I do every day. Repeat, repeat, repeat. I pulled up behind this truck. WOOD PELLETS HOT … Continue reading
In Defense of Winter
My four-year-old daughter said it to me this morning. “What if this-” she gestured pathetically out the car window, “-is still here in June?” And I felt for her. She … Continue reading
A Dream About Love
I had a dream about my brother Butchie last night. He was wearing footy pajamas, the kind that zip up the front, all fleecy and precious. The kind my children … Continue reading
Something About Now (Valentine’s Day 2015)
Tim found some old videos on his computer. What with hard-discs being full and switching from desktop dinosaurs to laptops and iPads and iPhones, we hadn’t seen these videos for awhile, … Continue reading
The Betta Fish, the Sugar, and the Fevers
I had a dream last night that I killed one of the betta fish. In the dream it was in the same glass bowl we had goldfish in as a … Continue reading
The Twins Turn Six (from the Basement Tapes)
Again and again this year I found myself beginning posts I never finished or finishing posts I never polished enough to post. So they’ve sat half-lost in a virtual notepad, … Continue reading
Sleeping Children, Peace, and Other Thankful Thoughts
Tim brought Mica to me last night. I was in bed. We were watching television, the president juxtaposed against Ferguson, burning cars and police in riot gear throwing tear gas, … Continue reading
Interview With My Mom, An Education
My Mom’s a talker. She can talk on and on and on. Which means I come by it honestly, anyway. And although I never expected it, I realize now that … Continue reading
On Learning to Read, A Study in Adjusting Expectations
Tis’ the season. No, it’s not quite the season for Christmas, although I did hear my first Christmas carol on the radio today. And it’s not scientifically the actual season … Continue reading
Life is More Than a Chopped Up To-do List
Today, at pre-school drop-off a convergence of exhausted harried Mamas met somewhere between the butterfly garden and the fairy garden. We stood, sort of gasping for air, and my eyes … Continue reading
Found in the Fog
Last weekend was our last in Maine, or at least the last real day of summer for us. I awoke early, crept to the window and was despondent. There was nothing, … Continue reading
Kindergarten Times Two, Twins
It’s raining teeth around here. Teeth and fingernails and hair. Little pieces of my children’s bodies are paring off, peeling away, to be swept off the porch, swallowed whole or … Continue reading
Pompeii, I Was There
The craziest thing happened tonight. Actually, I should probably begin with a Trigger Warning: for poop and putting your hands into toilets filled with poop. In case you’re eating an egg … Continue reading
One Season Following Another…
The marsh grass along the path to the beach is just beginning to turn orange at the edges. It’s a subtle thing, like a gray hair at your temple, but … Continue reading
Motherhood, Sisyphus and the Fitbit
I am Sisyphus. At least that’s what I tell myself most days as I walk through the house matching shoes and placing them in rows, hanging jackets on hooks, replacing … Continue reading
Head Stands, a Walk in the Sky
In my teens and twenties, over half a lifetime ago, there was no end to the possibilities for positive personal discoveries. Who me? Play field hockey? Well, I’m not very … Continue reading
I Don’t Like 7-Year-Old Boys and Other Zen Thoughts
I’ve recently come to the conclusion that I don’t like 7 year-old boys. As a 43-year-old adult female, this is neither a shocker nor a tragedy. I mean, it’s … Continue reading
Who Doesn’t Love Dessert (Happy Birthday, Baby Girl)
Today on the beach I was having a moment with my newly 4 year-old daughter, Cabot. She was calling me Binky and saying, “I love you, Binky,”and then kissing me. Then I … Continue reading
Graduation-ing (It’s Not Gradual)
This week is graduation week and there is nothing gradual about it. It comes in like a lion and goes out like a lion, all roaring emotion and event after … Continue reading
Letting the Days Go By (Same As It Ever Was)
Do you remember the movie Big? Or maybe 13 Going on 30? 17 Again? Any of these sugar-coated yummy morsels ringing a bell? The premise is you get covered in glitter … Continue reading
(Not So) Superlative Jen, Baby Steps
I called the doctor last week to inquire, “So about this shingles thing, if I can’t just rest and I just keep pushing even though my leg hurts and I’m … Continue reading
Motherhood is… (A Toenail in Your Eye)
I should have something to say about Mother’s Day. When Tim asked me what I wanted for Mother’s Day I initially said I wanted two hours to go use the … Continue reading
Punting Motherhood
I want to write about this week, but I have nothing much to say, or at least nothing orderly, entertaining or lyrical. (How’s that for a first line? This can … Continue reading
1/4 Inch Short
I ran into a friend at the kindergarten art show late last week. “How’ve you been?” she asked. “Ugh. I have shingles.” She started to laugh a little. “You know, … Continue reading
Forgetting to Remember
I thought of this thing today, but then it left my mind. It left my mind amidst the tumble of things I’m supposed to be doing, the school auction, the … Continue reading
Mama lost her brain… again.
Today, cleaning out my e-mail from weeks ago, I re-read an e-mail from one of my college roommates. We’d had a girl’s weekend in Washington, D.C. complete with walks to … Continue reading
Building a Neighborhood One Cup of Corn at a Time
I needed corn for the crockpot. The Chicken Taco Bowl crockpot to be exact. Canned? Frozen? Honestly, no one cares. At my house we call them the “filler calories”, because each … Continue reading
Littlewing, A Mother’s Anthem
Today it was cold, but with the promise of spring. At least that’s what we all told each other. One Mama grabbed me by the arm, literally grabbed me, and … Continue reading
Typhoid Mary, A Poem
There was a girl named Mary Mallon one hundred years ago She lived in the city that never sleeps, moving from home to home An Irish cook, some would call … Continue reading
The Winter of Our Discontent
Now is the winter of our discontent Made glorious summer by this sun of York; And all the clouds that lour’d upon our house In the deep bosom of the … Continue reading
The Big Girl Crib
My baby is still in a crib. I don’t mean like phat cribs on MTV with diamond bedazzles and an indoor treehouse. That would be Lindsey-Lo-tastic, but it’s not us. … Continue reading